Aries (3/21 – 4/19)
April Showers Bring May Flowers! It’s going to rain all day on your birthday.
Taurus (4/20 – 5/20)
Your favorite TV show is about to get cancelled. Looks like you’re going to have to start leaving the house and making friends.
Gemini (5/21 – 6/20)
At some point this month, you’re gonna be going poop in a public bathroom and there will be no toilet paper. And there will be no napkins in your purse.
Cancer (6/21 – 7/22)
You’re going to trip in front of a large crowd of people. Everyone will stare at you awkwardly and no one will move to help you up.
Leo (7/23 – 8/22)
You’ll volunteer to be DD for squad one night. When you’re leaving the bar, a cop will pull you over and refuse to believe you’re sober. You’ll have to do the Field Sobriety Test in front of everyone.
Virgo (8/23 – 9/22)
You’re going to drunkenly compose a message to your ex and just when you’ve internally decided to not send it, your thumb will accidentally hit “send.”
Libra (9/23 – 10/21)
You’ll be standing on a corner waiting to cross the street and a car will drive through a puddle and splash you with dirty rain water.
Scorpio (10/22 – 11/21)
You’re going to accidently upload your nudes on Facebook.
Sagittarius (11/22 – 12/21)
For some reason you’ll completely space on your electric bill … until your lights get shut off.
Capricorn (12/22 – 1/19)
You’ll plan the most epic April Fool’s Day Prank to play on your boss. They will not be amused and you’ll lose your job.
Aquarius (1/20 – 2/18)
Someone will play the most epic April Fool’s Day Prank on you and post the whole thing on Youtube. It’ll go viral and you’ll never live it down.
Pisces (2/19 – 3/20)
When one door closes another door opens? Not for you! Lol.