Choices. Being a new mother, I was involved in a number of online chat groups during my pregnancy, trying to soak up what to expect and prepare for. While many of the experiences women shared were helpful and informative, I was not expecting to discover so many heart-wrenching stories involving women’s painful choices to end their pregnancies. Women who wanted their children more than anything but still, in the end, chose to terminate for various reasons.

Many years ago, one woman I know personally (we’ll call her Sheila), made the choice to terminate her first pregnancy due to some very unfortunate news she received. The doctors had found a sizable tumor growing in her cervix.  If she were to continue the pregnancy, it would be very dangerous for her and her child, and would present a high probability that she would never be able to carry again.

Shelia wanted kids. She wanted the best for her and her future children, so she made the difficult choice to terminate. She went on to have three beautiful and healthy kids and was able to receive the treatment she needed for her tumor so her health could be restored. Without that choice, Shelia would not have her family today.

I couldn’t imagine being the person to force any woman to continue with an unwanted or medically unstable pregnancy. Just as you make all the other important choices in your life for you and your family, you should have the right to choose what is best for your own pregnancy. No two experiences are exactly alike. We are all looking through life differently. If you are against abortion, that is great for you and your family, it’s your choice. However, if you are not directly involved in someone’s life, how can you be so bold as to make such intimate choices for others? We are all different. We all have choices that can make us or break us everyday, and that is for each person to learn.

One other woman I encountered on my mommy chat sites was a woman who had made it to her second term only to find out some overwhelming news.  Her child’s major organs were forming on the outside of her body, specific tests to find out chances of survival cannot be done until a certain point in development. She and her husband had to wait until week 20 to come to find her heart wasn’t strong enough to undergo the needed surgery for survival outside of the womb.

People talk about innocent suffering children and how they need to protect them even in the womb. Well, what if your child was suffering in the womb and had no chance of survival outside of it? What if you had to make the tough choice to terminate so that your child could stop suffering? Some of these things cannot be found out until later on in pregnancy and, without the ability to terminate, some unnecessary painful situations would be prolonged. You can’t blanket such a situational and sensitive subject to refuse this choice to all people.

Of course there are some horrible situations that arise with use and abuse of abortion, just as there are ill intentioned people in any other part of the world abusing literally anything. Eliminating a woman’s chance to make the decision that is medically and mentally best for her won’t rid sick people of doing horrible things.

Recently, carrying my own child and getting to know her in my womb, I could never imagine what the pain would be if every time she kicked or had the hiccups I was reminded of her pain or would never meet her. Forcing someone to go through unhealthy or unwanted situations is not for any one person to decide, but the person on the journey.

There are countless variables involved with each individual pregnancy. Diseases such as lupus, Crohn’s, and other life-long illnesses can make pregnancy dangerous and even potentially fatal for both mother and baby. Immediately conceiving after giving birth can also pose many risks. How can you force someone through a situation you know nothing about, nor are in anyway involved?

 

1 Comment

  1. To save the life of a seriously endangered mother (i.e. cancer growing) by inducing an abortion is permitted by doctors and hospitals. The death of the fetus is a SECONDARY EFFECT of saving the mother’s life. A recent FB post about parents knowing their child had many, many problems and could not survive, chose to have their baby, name him, diaper and feed him for the five days he did live. They learned what it meant to be parents and to see his life end in their arms. Choices. It’s legal. One size does not fit all. Remember science: biology says the DNA growing in the womb is . . . is . . . is . . .what?

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