By Victoria Dubuis
Earlier this week, Ariana Grande released a statement on her twitter about a gentleman intruding her date with her and her boyfriend, Mac Miller, following them to their car and saying to Mac, “Ariana is sexy as hell, man, I see you hittin’ that!”
Now, being objectified is wrong. Full stop. End of discussion…
…..but there is a larger picture here as well. Ariana received a lot of backlash from a wide array of people deciding for her that she “deserved” this comment to be made and should have expected it because of the manner in which she carries herself, her style of music, and her choice of wardrobe (<<< all matters in her own control). She replied to this backlash through a series of tweets validating her opinion on the injustice of being objectified and mistreated in such a manner:
Now, let’s get one thing straight: Any person (celebrity OR NOT) is entitled to show their sexuality in whatever form that may take so long as it is of their own choosing and still be upset when being objectified in such a manner. Coming up to Ariana (and any other human) without invitation whatsoever and speaking as though like she is nothing more than a “piece of ass” for her “man” is wrong and disrespectful on so many levels and if you are saying “oh well, she deserves it for putting herself out there sexually”, YOU are part of the problem (especially the women that are saying this because our treatment isn’t going to get better with you on the sidelines cheering on that argument).
This is the attitude that exemplifies and perpetuates rape culture. The culture that taught us the phrase “boys will be boys”. The culture that deemed spaghetti straps as inappropriate for women to wear as early as the age of 5. As a society, we are constantly blaming women for the things men do and the way men act by just claiming that that’s how men are. This is not only seriously degrading to women, but it’s insulting to men by implying that men cannot control their primal urges which then justifies their inappropriate behavior towards women. So in the end, these kinds of derogatory statements are harmful to not only women, but men as well.
So what can we do to stop this wrong turn in our culture and view of sexual expression/freedom?
What we need not to do:
IGNORE what our culture perpetuates time and time again and blaming the woman (and any other minority on a wide array of topics) for daring to speak out against it.
We also need to stop EXPECTING men (and anyone) to act this way, but rather expect them to be respectful because at the end of the day, if you like Ariana or not, it’s not about hurt feelings, it’s about the complete lack of respect for another human being.
So, congrats Ariana, for speaking out on an issue that so many refuse to accept and receiving the backlash with such grace and strength.
A powerful, young, outspoken woman who we are proud to name JULIE’s Feminist of the Month.