Man Catching Chicken: Successful Marriages Start in the Kitchen!!!

by Vanessa Copeland

Everyone knows a man wants a woman who can cook. It shows him that you’ve really taken the time to cultivate your God-given talents as a woman and proves to him that you take your role as homemaker seriously, and that you’re not wasting your time with fruitless pursuits like knowledge or a career. However, I do realize that some of you feel like God must’ve skipped over you when he was handing out the Miss Betty Homemaker skill set. While you want to do right by your man and fully represent your gender in the right way, you can barely cook eggs without burning them. Not to worry! I have just the recipe for you. This will convince your man that you do have the skills to fully meet your wifely and motherly requirements. It so easy even a woman can do it. 

1950s-housewife
Wtf am I doing?

 

This recipe calls for boneless skinless chicken breasts because breasts are what most men want. However, if you find yourself in love with a thigh-guy, mostly any cut will work. If you happen to have a man who tends to stray from the traditional protein of chicken and finds himself craving other meats, this recipe and sauce will work with a variety of proteins for a delicious meal that will keep his wandering heart on you. 

The key to this recipe, aside from making it with love, is the syrup you use. Always use the highest quality syrup, because that is what your man deserves, but also because generic brands tend to be full of extra sugars and corn syrup. No man wants a fatty. I have tried the recipe using cheap maple syrup. On top of my lover threatening to leave, the recipe just didn’t work out as well due to it having more maple flavoring than actual maple. 

So set the ironing aside for a bit and let’s get cooking.

1950s housewife
You got this.

Ingredients:

  • 4-6 Boneless skinless chicken breast (or thighs if you’ve got a thigh-guy)
  • ½ Cup Dijon mustard
  • ¾ Cup maple syrup (the good stuff you’re man deserves)
  • 1 Tablespoon red wine vinegar
  • 1 Teaspoon dried rosemary

Instructions:

  1. Preheat your oven to 450 degrees
  2. In a small bowl, mix together your Dijon mustard, maple syrup and red wine vinegar
  3. Place your chicken in a sprayed 9×13 pan, pour the sauce on top and sprinkle with rosemary. Place in preheated oven, uncovered, and let bake for 20 minutes, remove flip chicken and return to oven for an additional 20 minutes.
  4. Once chicken is browned and cooked through remove from oven and let rest for 5 minutes. Spoon some of the sauce over the chicken when plating. 

This simple recipe is a sure fire way to seal the deal with any suitors who may be staying at arm’s length or for reassuring your man that he made the right choice in choosing you.  Remember ladies, successful marriages start in the kitchen.

1950sWedding
Actual image of you and your boo after he eats this chicken.

 

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