“I’m Not Going to Choose a Side”

By Victoria Dubuis

Chris Brown, Johnny Depp, Kodak Black, XXXTentacion, Donald Trump.

These are only five recognized men who are constantly defended by their fans/followings despite being known to have assaulted women or men in various ways.

What causes this? Why are some people prone to defend garbage men whether they are under the public eye or not?

Is it the need to be “accepted” by others that is imbedded in some (/all) of us?

Or is it because society has told us repeatedly that abuse victims are not to be trusted?

Do we believe that men are simply more credible?

No matter what the reason may be, we, as a society and as individuals, NEED to do better.

No amount of music can be good enough to defend someone that bragged about attacking someone because they were gay…

…Who nearly killed his pregnant girlfriend.

So why is it that after rapper XXXTentacion passed last week, many were quick to defend his actions?

I’m not saying he deserved to die, but you can’t say he was an inspiration or a good man.

He was a misogynist, homophobic, and an abuser.

Let us not forget that.

So what can we do to stop this from occurring over… and over again…?


  • Do not support the content of known abusers no matter the social status.
  • Do not hesitate to denounce powerful men who are exposed as abusers.
  • Stand with abuse survivors. Always.


Adamantly empathizing and defending violent or sexual abusers creates a toxic narrative that abuse is just “a mistake.”

It gives the impression that one is willingly disregarding the emotional and mental trauma that abuse victims will have to live with for literally the rest of their lives.

Whether it be your roommate coming to you when a man sexually assaulted her, or a woman you’ve never met coming out against your favorite actor… Defending abusers helps no one.

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